


Never Let Go

by ADbLOCK



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, True Love, Underworld
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 20:58:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7590091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADbLOCK/pseuds/ADbLOCK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: "An idea for Captain Swan - roles are reversed and Emma dies and goes to the underworld, Hook comes and saves her... "</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> I received a prompt from my account in Wattpad.
> 
> "An idea for Captain Swan - roles are reversed and Emma dies and goes to the underworld, Hook comes and saves her... "
> 
> I absolutely loved the idea! I have to warn you though. Very angsty. Implications of torture. All in all quite sad, but I love angst and I don't know why. Anyway, I hope you still enjoy :)
> 
> P.S. Second chapter is just a bump because I forgot to add a summary :P

It must have been fast for everyone. It must have been like a split second and they found him on the ground, her body lying on the soft grass. It must feel like something was missing from their memories. Very much like the pain in his heart. At least it had been quick for them. At least they didn't have to see it all. No one did.

No one but him.

Nimue had lured him in. Tainted his heart with the blackest black, unleashing the sleeping monsters caged inside his soul. He had always told himself that he wouldn't be the man that he used to be. He had always thought that that man was dead, that her soul and love have scared the man away.

He was wrong.

The darkness had simply engulfed him in a matter of seconds. He didn't even have the strength to fight back. In one swift second, he was reborn as the Dark One. The thing was he loved it. The power. The darkness. The pride. He could feel it creeping into his recovered soul only to crush it again in its dark hands as it did hundreds of years ago.

He was too weak.

It wasn't Nimue's fault. She had simply shown him how weak he was even though he had already found a home. She had simply shown him how much of a monster he was. And he couldn't fool anyone with that.

He knew what Nimue had wanted through the whispers inside his head. The haunting whispers of the past Dark Ones singing along the taunting voice of Nimue telling him...

_Kill her._

_She's no use._

_She's too weak to join us._

_Kill her._

The voices were hissing in joy and he could almost feel all of their powers combined in their delight. It felt good. So good he could have moved and drove the sword through her without any remorse. He could have done that. He had all the power in the world to do that. The whispers were getting louder and now they were telling him the things they could do together, the plans they were going to unleash to the world. It was tempting, very tempting. He was a Dark One himself after all. Their words were slowly pushing him over the edge.

Yet even with all their powers combined, the sword felt heavy in his hand. The sword, he thought, had suddenly spoke.

 _Killian_.

He wasn't sure if it had been his imagination, but he knew he heard it. The voice was soothing and somewhat familiar. Almost as if...

His eyes met her green eyes. Her beautiful green eyes filled with pain and panic, silently pleading him to stop, shouting at him to wake up. His eyes roamed her face and for a moment the voices grew so loud he almost forgot her name. But the curve of her lips, the tip of her nose, the soul in her eyes reminded him of her. Reminded him of his love for her.

Emma.

One word and he let go.

The sword fell and it was gone in a split second. His eyes widened and Nimue hissed in anger. She was standing behind him, the long blade raised in her delicate hands. He could only gape at her when he suddenly realized what she was about to do. The sword glowed and he could feel the Dark Ones slowly disappear one by one, their souls sucked in by the sword. By her.

Horror filled him as he watched her take in the last Dark One, her body glowing silver against the moonlight, her eyes growing dark, her lips pulled open in gasps.

"No..." he mumbled as he took a step closer to her.

Her eyes flicked back to their original color and she looked at him.

"Killian."

"Swan, no..." His voice cracked as the tears stung his eyes.

A small smile crept to her lips. "It's okay." she whispered.

"No, it's not!" He eyes the glowing sword in her hand. It was shaking almost as if to mock him.

Her eyes turned dark and returned back in a split second. Her face was pleading him to do it. "You have to."

He shook his head, the tears blurring his vision as he stood there frozen unable to think of anything else but what was going to happen. Then he felt something slip into his hand and something warm on his cheek. He blinked the tears away and found her kind eyes looking at him with so much love his heart ached.

It wasn't enough. Why did they all have to leave him? Why were they all taken away from him?

Why her?

She stepped back and gave him a reassuring nod. He knew she was just as scared as he was. But she was handling it so much better than he did. He was a weak man indeed. He closed his eyes shut, silently hoping this was all just a dream. But the roar of the cold wind, the lingering shadows of the dark, the haunting screeches of the past surrounded him, mocking him for being so weak. Why was he running away?

She wanted this. Emma wanted it. Yet he couldn't. She had to understand that he couldn't possibly lose anyone else, especially her. She had become his life, his home, his everything. Losing her was...

"Killian..." she breathed out, a sense of panic rising in her voice as her eyes flicked back to the dark color of Nimue's eyes.

He gripped the handle of the sword tightly, his knuckles white against the tan of his skin.

Without thinking for a second longer, he pushed the blade forward his eyes clenched shut as he felt the blade pass through her, a gasp leaving her lips. His eyes opened and he saw her falling to the ground. He moved as fast as he could, his knees crashing into the ground as he held her in his arms.

How ironic. Saving her like that.

What killed him more was the small smile on her lips, the certain glow in her eyes. A bright light enveloped them and he found himself back in his old self, but he really didn't care because her eyes were drooping low, her life slowly seeping away from her.

"Emma, love, why...I can't..."

Tears streamed down his cheeks as the words got stuck in his throat. Then he felt her hand grazing his cheek in an effort to wipe away his tears. He took her tiny hand and pressed it to his cheek.

"I love you."

Then she drew in a a breath. He shouted and shouted. He cried and cried. Yet he could never let go of her hand slowly growing cold in his.

* * *

"The pirate wants to go to the Underworld." Regina said as they entered the loft.

"What?" David asked in surprise.

Killian walked in, suddenly feeling tired and nauseous at the sight of the loft. He could almost imagine her coming down the stairs and running straight towards him. "Don't tell me you wouldn't do anything to get your daughter back?"

David fell silent and Mary Margaret could only look at him with an unreadable expression. Regina and Robin sat on the couch, listening to the man. Killian sighed. "I read that you two share a heart." he said to the couple.

"Are you insane, pirate?" Regina immediately spoke up.

He snapped his head towards her with a glare that he didn't mean to put on. His face was dark and he took a step towards the woman. "Do I look like I'm joking?"

She rolled her eyes. "What if it doesn't work?"

He froze. He hadn't really considered that. What if half of him wasn't enough? What if? Then again the answer was simple. Very simple that he really didn't need to think about it. Then he'll give her everything.

"It's not like she didn't already own my heart."

* * *

He had absolutely no idea how he got the Crocodile to go with them. It just happened and they found themselves standing in a mirror image of Storybrooke except the place was darker, gloomier.

These were souls he realized. The dead souls who still had unfinished business. He reckoned he had plenty _friends_ who would be delighted that he was present, but he didn't have time for that. Not when he still needed to find his savior. David was adamant on coming up with a plan first, but for heaven's sake, Killian was honestly losing his patience. It had taken all his strength and the memory of his loving Swan to calm himself down. He excused himself, knowing that the darkness was easily slipping out of him after he had become the Dark One.

It was also when he was about to head to the docks when he noticed something. No, someone familiar. She was standing a meters away from him, waving her hands as children followed her lead. Dark hair, blue eyes, slim nose. He bolted towards her, pulling her into his arms.

"Milah!"

She struggled at the thought of some stranger harassing her, but then she realized who he was. "Killian?"

"Aye..." he said in a low voice as he buried his face into her shoulder. He felt her hand on the back of his hand, burying her fingers in his hair as the tears welled up in his eyes. Seeing her brought up all the good memories, all the love he had for her. Yet it also brought up all the pain, the hundreds of years he had given up to the darkness. It reminded him of how weak he was. And how weak he still was.

"I'm sorry, Killian." she said, her voice filled with understanding.

So she knew.

They talked like old times. Catching up with each other. He had felt lighter after their conversation. He suddenly felt as if he was young and so free of everything. Yet it all had to go back to the pain. The pain of losing the woman he loved. Milah looked at him with understanding, saying that she was so happy for him and that she would help him as much as she could.

And Killian pulled her in for another hug, thinking that Emma would like Milah as much as Milah would like her.

* * *

Milah had shown him the way to Hades' lair.

With the Crocodile in tow.

It was most probably the worst group they could come up with given their pasts, but they didn't have a choice. They needed a dead soul to sneak into Hades' lair. And of course. magic. Regina still didn't have her magic, but for some reason, the Crocodile still did. It was a mystery to Killian how that happened, but he wasn't entirely surprised.

They went in through the white house he had hoped to be their future, their home. He had to hide his wince when they stepped into the familiar space. Descending down into the underground, it had taken quite some time. Silence hung in their air save for the soles of their shoes scratching against the rocky floor. Killian had never thought he would be thankful of something the Crocodile had done because hearing that annoying voice of his taunting and teasing him would certainly cause him to snap.

"The River of Lost Souls?" Milah spoke when they stepped on the edge of the landing, a boat floating on the waters nearby. Her eyes searched his as he stood on the boat rocking side to side. "Are you sure, Killian?"

He looked far into the river where it stretched into darkness. No, he wasn't sure. He knew that she was down there. Somehow, by whatever magic, he felt her strongly. She felt so close it was as if he could smell her scent, as if he could feel her touch, as if he could see her golden waves.

"Aye."

Without asking anymore questions, Milah went on the boat and the Crocodile followed. The boat moved and he could hear the souls swarming around the boat, calling out to them, asking for help, shouting curses. None of those affected him, not when his mind was on his Swan. He rubbed his thumb and forefinger, remembering the way her soft hair had felt under his fingertips. He remembered the way she looked at him with those green eyes. He remembered the way her laughter sounded.

They stopped and the Crocodile stayed. He still didn't trust him. The first reaction was to bring Milah with him because god knows what the Crocodile is planning. Yet she had a point. It had been hard, but the reassuring words and the kind blue eyes of his former love told him to go. She cupped his cheeks and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. With a soft smile, she spoke. "Go get her."

He smiled and went into the cave.

He emerged from the dark tunnel, finding himself standing on the edge of a cliff. And his eyes fell on the landing in the middle of the cave. On her form dangling down a chain into the flames.

"Emma!"

Like a wolf, he tore through every obstacle, not caring if he almost fell into the pit of flames or if he had bruises on his knees. Because all he could see was her. Because all he could think of was her.

She was fine. She seemed fine. But, gods above, her eyes were cold. Her eyes looked so empty above the dark circles under her eyes. Her pale skin stretched onto the bones lightly protruding out her skin. She looked so small. She looked so afraid.

"N-no!" she muttered, trying to struggle against him as he brought her to the ground.

"Emma, please! It's me." he whispered as he cupped her cheeks to look into her shining eyes. He watched as her eyes shifted in recognition of his face and voice.

"K-Killi-an?"

Gods, her voice sounded so weak and small. His heart broke at the sound of her voice, at the sight of her state. And he held her with his arms. He held her close, wishing that he had the power to take the pain away from her, to free her from whatever Hades had done to her.

If he only he could, but he couldn't. He didn't have magic or anything that could help her. The most that he could do was hold her and never let go.

So he did.

She had a few cuts and bruises but nothing that would threaten her life. They sneaked into the house, their friends and family giving them some time to talk. For that, he was very grateful to them.

There they sat on the couch. Killian watched as she stared into nothing, her eyes still empty and cold. He didn't understand. Wasn't she happy to see him?

"Emma..." he started as he tried to take her hand into his.

She quickly retracted her hand as if she had touched something hot, shaking her head and looking away from him.

He frowned. "Emma, love, what's the matter?"

She didn't answer him, simply lowered her head, the curtains of hair shielding her face. His heart ached at the sight of her like this. So little. So afraid. Slowly, he placed a hand on her hand, his skin brushing hers as he waited for her answer. She froze, but she didn't say anything either. He then wrapped his fingers around her hand, slowly lifting it up to his lips.

"You can tell me anything. You know that, love."

"I..." her voice faded into a whisper.

He sat there, pressing soft kisses on her hand as he patiently waited for her.

"You shouldn't have come to save me." she then said, startling him at the sound of her voice, haunted and scared.

"I can't. " He leaned towards her, trying to get her took look at him. "You know you would have done the same."

She shook her head. He could see the tears rolling down her cheeks. "I meant in New York."

New York? When she and Henry spent a year without any memories of Storybrooke? He didn't understand.

"Can't you see, Killian?" she cried, finally looking at him with swollen eyes. "If you hadn't saved me, Storybrooke would have been safe. I wouldn't have brought the darkness to the town. Camelot wouldn't have happened. You wouldn't have died..."

Her voice shrunk at the last statement. He ached to stop her with what she was saying, but he knew he had to hear her thoughts.

"Don't you see it, Killian?" she whispered as she took her hand away from his and cupped her face. "I'm the problem. I'm not the Savior...

He couldn't take it any longer. He reached for her wrist and pulled her into a hug. Her tears wetting his neck as she cried and cried.

"That's not true, Swan." he whispered, controlling the anger that flared inside him. "You saved Storybrooke from a curse. You brought them freedom."

"How could it be freedom when monsters attacked them every time? How could I have saved them when I brought them so close to the darkness?"

Gods, what had Hades done to her? He gritted his teeth.

He was about to open his mouth when a knock rang out in the house.

* * *

Liam was with them.

And Emma was telling him in her small weak voice that she didn't trust Liam.

He didn't know if it was true or it was just her mind playing tricks on her. Perhaps. It had to be the latter. Liam wouldn't...

Before he could continue any longer he mentally slapped himself. How could he ever think that Emma was delusional? How could he ever doubt her? Then again this was Liam. This was his older brother who had been his father-figure, his rock, his captain. He had practically raised him and he owed his whole life to him. It was impossible.

"Emma, what are you saying?"

She peered at him through her lashes, the shadows did nothing but enhance the dark circles under her eyes. "Nothing. I'm just saying he might be hiding something."

"Liam is not a liar." he snapped, surprising himself with the sudden burst of emotion.

She froze. Her face paled and his body grew cold. He watched as she visibly shrunk, the tears glistening in her eyes as she took a step back. Her hand trembled as she held it in front of her as if to shield herself.

What had he done?

"Hades may have tortured me, but I am not crazy."

Her words pounded in his ears as she gritted her teeth, knuckles white on her fair skin. He took a step towards her, his heart crumbling at the sight of her. Gods, why was he hurting her over and over again? She quickly distanced herself from him. Her eyes found his. They looked glassy and looked right into him, far beyond him.

Bloody hell.

A tear escaped down her cheek. Footsteps rang out the empty library and he found himself alone, the image of his Swan burnt into his mind.

Then he found out that she was right. Liam had been hiding something.

He sped into the house, climbing the stairs. Opening the door to her room, he found her curled up in the corner. Bloody hell, he swore he heard his heart shatter into pieces with every her every wince as his boots landed on the floor. He stretched his hand forward, silently hoping she wouldn't fight him.

She didn't.

The feel of her soft skin thin and trembling with fear against his own was enough to kill him because, gods, this wasn't his Swan. This wasn't the Emma he knew. He silently pulled her into him, not caring about the tears staining his shirt, not caring about the hard press of the wall against his back. He wrapped himself around her as if to shield her from everything. But he knew there was nothing he could do when the battle was within her.

"I'm sorry, Emma."

"It's fine."

"I'm here."

"Don't be afraid."

"Emma, Emma, Emma."

All he could do was hold her. _Never let go._

He was going to kill Hades. He was going to pay.

* * *

_I can't go with you._

"Emma, I told you you're the Savior. Storybrooke nee-"

"You know what I mean." she simply said in a voice that was slowly becoming more and more of his Emma.

He looked back at her, his vision blurring with the tears. Because she was right, he perfectly knew what she meant. But thinking otherwise made it so much easier than facing the truth of what she was saying. It was always like this. Everyone was leaving him. In the end, he was always alone. Then she came. He would never leave him and she knew she wouldn't either. So why was she leaving him now?

"I... Swan..."

The words got stuck in his throat. The tears were brimming his eyes as her words replayed echoed in his mind.

_I can't go with you._

She took a step towards him, her trembling hand reaching up to cup his cheek, the touch light and soft. His eyes fell on the rocky floor, shuffling his feet from side to side, as the first tear rolled down his cheek. Her other hand cupped his other cheek, and she peered from under his hair. Her eyes were soft with so much love, and it wasn't fair.

It wasn't fair at all.

Slowly, she stepped closer to him until their bodies were pressed against each other, wrapping her thin arms around his shaking frame. A hand reached up to bury into his hair as the other latched onto his shoulder in a tight grip. His own arms shot around her waist as he breathed her in.

True Love. They were true love. The rarest magic of all.

He had always felt in deep down underneath all the fear of commitment and of what is to come. He had always known that it would be her. How could it not be? She was too beautiful and perfect for him that it scared him to death. How she understood her. How she knew what he was thinking with a mere look. How she could touch him and make him feel at home.

And then this.

How cruel fate was, playing with them. One moment they were branded as True Love and the next they were being torn apart.

"Why does this always happen to us?" he said into her hair, wincing at how weak his voice sounded.

He heard her chuckle run deep into his belly. "Maybe they know nothing could stop us if we were together."

A small smile graced his lips at her words. He burrowed his face deeper into her, pressing a soft kiss to her neck. "I don't think I'd ever be able to let you go, Emma."

She pulled away, looking at him with her swollen eyes and puffy nose. Gods, she looked just as beautiful.

"Don't say that, Killian." She pressed her palm against his cheek, her thumb wiping the tears rolling down. "You have to. I want you to."

Killian shook his head as another wave of tears escaped his eyes. "It hurts so much."

Her eyes glistened with tears as she forced him to look at her. "I know. I know."

"But because it hurts, you know it was true."

He couldn't handle it anymore. He surged forward trapping her in his arms as his lips covered hers in a searing kiss. Because he needed to forget about everything for a while. He needed to just simply feel her, memorize every part of her. Everything had to fade into nothing leaving them in a safe haven of his imagination. Everything had to be the way he had wanted it to be. Even for just a moment.

Slowly, everything came back. The pain, the agony, the desperation. It felt too much, but she breathed out his name against his lips and he knew he had to do it. He knew that he still had to do it. Resting his forehead against hers, their noses touching, their swollen lips centimeters away, he spoke the only words that he could think of.

"I love you."

He felt her hand on his good hand, bringing it to her lips, pressing soft kisses to his knuckles, his palms. Then she reached for his hook and brushed the cold metal over her lips. Her eyes found his as she stood on her toes. She pressed soft feather kisses on his skin. His forehead. His nose. His lips. His neck It was as if she was branding him as hers. And he was hers. Forever hers.

"I love you too."

* * *

It felt as if the stone was mocking him with the letters of her name.

Everyone came to her burial. It was a sad day in Storybrooke. Even the clouds had decided to empathize with him as rain poured down. One by one, the people left. Regina squeezed his arm as Robin did the same. The lady Snow had said nothing and only gave him a hug. It lasted quite a while, her shoulders shaking with tears. David had merely looked away, the tears pouring down his eyes.

And Henry.

The lad was standing in front of her coffin, his face expressionless, his eyes empty. There were no tears on his face, yet Killian perfectly knew what was happening. He pulled the lad into his arms and whispered things to him, telling him it was alright to cry, telling him it was alright to shout. He had looked at him with silent tears in his broken eyes. And together they cried and cried. Together, they screamed and screamed.

Until their voices broke. Until their tears dried.

Wordlessly, Henry left with a small nod. He remained standing there. Mind empty. Eyes swollen. He simply stood there and watched as the rain on the stone dried up. He looked up the now clear sky, the smell of rain surrounding him. A gush of wind rushed over him. A sweet scent filling his lungs. A soft whisper against his skin. If he closed his eyes and really focused, he could almost feel her right by his side.

Finally, he felt something open up inside him. He felt lighter as if he was carrying so much weight on his shoulders.

Then a voice called out to him.

"Killian?"

He spun around.

Bloody hell.

Those green eyes. Those golden waves. Those soft lips.

"Emma?"

A smile broke out her face, and he ran towards her with incredible speed, crushing her body against his.

"Swan? How-I...Gods! I can't believe it! Bloody hell!" A string of curses left his lips, causing her to giggle at his confusion.

When his heart had finally returned more to its normal beating, he looked at her, following the big grin on her face. He watched as her eyes softened and her smile grew small and tender.

His lips found hers. It was simply perfect. No words crossed his mind. No thoughts. He only felt her. He only felt the press of her body against his, the feel of her lips under his, the love coursing through her veins. He lifted her off the ground and spun her around in circles. Her giggles filled the air as she continued to kiss him over and over again.

When they had finally settled down, both of them still wrapped in each others arms, he silently studied her face just as she did.

"I love you." he breathed out with a small smile.

She mirrored his smile, nuzzling her nose against his. "I love you too."

And he never let her go.

**Author's Note:**

> I blame Aeon by Nick Murray for this. Blast that beautiful song! I couldn't get enough of it and it was enough to make me listen to more trailer instrumental music and come up with something like this.
> 
> Btw, Robin is alive in this universe. He was only mentioned I know, but come on! He didn't have to die!!!
> 
> Still, tell me what you think?


End file.
